I don’t know how to express this. This feeling of resentment; anger, frustration, anxiety, worry. They have all been injected well into my veins today and I was almost ready to erupt, like the volcanoes whose lava have been kept for the longest time possible, only waiting for the trigger to let it all out.
By night time it had settled in – I was shaking in anxiety, possibly fuming by the way things are happening around me. I was sweating from this moment of little spasms, realising that the worry has affected me not only mentally, but physically.
But earlier in the day I had diagnosed the situation well enough, and from the diagnosis I could tell that this was a blessing in disguise.
“Allah has put me in this situation because He wants me to return to Him. What a blessing in disguise.”
Little did I know, I was scavenging through words on the internet, processing whatever that was going on today and telling myself to remain calm, always. And then I slowly wrote a few good plans on how I could stop this worry from overtaking my life before it gets worse(the apex of it was the night time, which, by then, despite the rage of emotions whirling inside, by the will of Allah, I managed, to remain calm. Strange but true.).
It’s in these moments of hardship did He return me to His words and the words of His righteous servants. It’s these moments that made me realise how far I’ve been away in attending to life’s calling.
Suddenly, in these moments the Qur’an became dear to me. The Prophetic texts and supplications were my support system in which I put my trurst that He will answer these prayers. And without my realising the dua’ of anguish was readily answered; my soul was famished, famished of His Words.
Our greatest mistake is to be too concerned with all the problems at hand and forget that He has the ultimate control over all situations in the world. I have learned today that no matter what, always — put Allah first in your life. When the problems were heating up, I saw, by His Will, how I was busying myself to rectify my connection with Him and Alhamdulillah He made it easy for me to rectify my affairs.
Another lesson I’ve learned today was my yearning to help people out, in anyway possible. I was expecting any stranger to just come up to me, or the other way round if I could offer a helping hand. Because I remember that Allah will help His servants as long he/she helps his/her fellow brethren.
So, in any shape or form, if these words have helped you, then I pray to Allah that you will benefit from it.
Alhamdulillah for today, for I now have a topic that I can really focus on deeply, with His Permission, and I hope to publish them someday, If Allah Wills.