Makkah & Madinah — two names that are not foreign to Muslims. The blessed lands that many long to visit. They have always been in my prayers ever since I had learned more about Islam. But one day, a heart was broken, a soul was lost, but a door was suddenly opened. It was as though Allah was telling me that this has been your hindrance to getting your dua’ from being accepted. “Now that you’ve let it go, I am giving you the wish you’ve been meaning to get,” as though Allah was saying that to me. Thinking good of Allah never disappoints the believing slave. Everything that has been decreed is and will always be good for the believer.
Right until then, I had a few countries in mind to travel; Indonesia, Australia, Japan. It was like an obligation for every men who served the nation to take that break from the mundane lifestyle we’ve built over the course of two years. We simply needed the break.
But one day the thought passed by — why not Makkah and Madinah?
So I decided to enquire.
A month before I was released, my teacher had sent me a message, “UMRAH TRIP 2017.” It was a long and detailed message, but by the end of it, I had pushed it aside, away from my mind, away from my heart. Not now perhaps. the inner voice said. But, we don’t know of the future. Circumstances change us, it redirects our attention and motivation. It makes us react and respond accordingly to the events happening around us.
My heart was left broken. It had always been for a long while. But one day came the penultimate moment. The ties we’ve made were cut, and it was deep. It shattered my hopes, and ambitions to live a good life. It affected me badly. For days I was left in daze, but slowly it made me realise how futile it had been all these years.
A friend once said,
“as with the seasons, people change too.”
That was profound, I thought. Because I was made to believe that people in your life would still be the same person even though you’ve not met him/her for the longest time possible. I became deluded by this belief. Sometimes, the waiting is the one that gives us the pain, but in waiting there is wisdom Allah has put behind it. You may wait for a person for the longest time but you end up not being with him or her. That wait has caused you so much pain, so much weight for you to carry forward in life, but remember, with this pain, you turn yourself to Allah and complain of your ignorance, your incompetence to worship Him properly. I’m not saying you should follow this path of waiting, but learn from me — never wait, never hope from human beings. The second type of waiting, is the one you should do, and that is to patiently wait for Allah’s help. You do so by worshipping Him alone without any partners being associated to Him, follow His Messenger Muhammad (Peace be upon him), and at the same time learn how to find the right one for you. What’s the underlying factor behind all this? Knowledge. Seek knowledge of the religion, understand what Allah loves and what Allah hates. Understand the purpose of your existence. We are made to know Him. That’s our primary reason for existence. What loses us is the fact that we have been made to learn about love the wrong way. You may say love is something that is subjective, but hey, for once, shouldn’t we look at love and life from God’s perspective? How does He define love? How do we love? What is love? The fundamental questions we need to ask ourselves time and time again.
Anyway, as with bad experiences in life, we learn from it. So what did I do with my broken heart?
I decided to complain it to Allah, and I did so by going for the ‘Umrah trip. I was extremely fortunate that when I enquired about it, there was only a seat left in the group. That day I learnt how fortunate I am to know that this was a blessing in disguise after all. The whisper in my heart that told me about the ‘Umrah trip again made all the difference, and like what Robert Frost says in his famous lines of poetry, The Road Not Taken,
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference.
I decided to take the road less travelled, and that has made all the difference.
Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli haal…
To be continued, If Allah Wills…