Visiting the past.

I’ve been on a cleaning spree for the past few days, and as I rummaged through my room, a section of it were stacks of papers that I hadn’t read in a while. As I scanned through the  lines of words I found solace, a comfort that I never thought would help me today. It was the struggles I went through back then, how sincere I was in searching for happiness. How desperate I was to kill the loneliness I was experiencing, and more importantly, how needy I was to become human again. I can’t help but to look down on myself now, because who I was back then was more…a sincere person, in a sense that I really wanted life. I can’t find any other word to replace sincere, because that’s how I truly felt. I just wanted guidance. A direction, and a way to follow.

I keep coming back to my past, not because I want to change them. I can’t. It’s impossible. But I come back there because I want to search for the debris that I had left behind, the failure to fly off to success, and the causes of that failure. I didn’t know I had potential back then, to grow, to become someone successful. But success is defined differently by everyone. Back then it was all materialistic; I had defined success in terms of achieving material possessions. And of fame and status. It’s a no no for me now.

As I grow day by day I am learning from my failures. I am learning to be more open towards people around me. I want to get to know people better. I want to know how they live their lives, their aspirations and what they really hope to achieve in this life. People are interesting. The more I know them, the more I realise how ignorant I am of my existence, and how little to no knowledge I have of the world around me. Even my family. I haven’t really known them well enough to say I already memorised their dreams and aspirations. People change and they keep changing. Although the occasional gatherings now glue us together and we’d have a chat or two on our objectives in life, deep inside we’re not hardwired to each other.

Everybody’s growing.

Everybody’s going.

Until then, I have more searching to do.

Take care.




Labour day.

It’s easy to be cornered by all the negative energy surrounding you. All the vibes that’s killing your optimism. It’s easy to be caught in the turmoils of life, staying there, becoming hypnotised by the endless murmurs of pessimism, a voice we don’t need, a voice we should always shun.

That’s why burying sadness is hard labour. Make the effort today, tomorrow, and forever to plant the seeds of optimism in your life. But how?




Do. Act.

Be away from whatever makes you sad. Don’t come near it.

It’s hard labour.

It’s labour day; just another day to be happy.

Just another day to remain optimistic about life.

Just another grab all the opportunities for a good life.

Do what makes you happy.

For a day, every day – be content with yourself.

Keep labouring life.